


Roller Skates and Cheap Perfume

by bisexual_dean_winchester (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan AU, Roller Derby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bisexual_dean_winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is the star of the Inhumane roller derby team, Phil is going to his very first roller derby game.</p>
<p>(Roller derby AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roller Skates and Cheap Perfume

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY THERE'S LIKE NO EDITING WHOOPS MY BETA IS AWAY RN

For someone who had been dragged out to the championship game of a sport he didn’t even care about, Phil was having a pretty good time to say the lease. As soon as he had entered the giant arena with the big lights and the blasting rock music he had felt at home. As he had made his way to his seat he had been surrounded by people with crazy haircuts and the smell of diluted alcohol and cheap perfume, the pounding beat of some Muse song blasting from some corner of the building.

When he and his friends had sat down in the very front (on the concrete floor, as close as was allowed to the track) he had asked a few questions: “What even _is_ roller derby?” “Okay, so what are the rules?” “People _hit_ each other? Like in American football? On _roller skates?_ ” And then he had finally stated: “That sounds awesome.”

His friends had given very little information on the teams, or the skaters. Chris had said something about crazy names, Louise had said something about hitting.

When the lights went down, everyone was silent, for a moment it was as if no one was there at all in the pitch dark, but then a spotlight was lit in the center of the track and an announcer sauntered into it carrying a microphone. He shushed the audience, and then brought the mic to his mouth enthusiastically, every movement brought a flash of color from his purple-sequined suit.

“WWWWWELCOME TO THE VERY LAST CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, TODAY WE BRING THE TWO STRONGEST TEAMS AND WE PIT THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER.” Phil was excited (though he had no idea what was going on) so he cheered along with the crowd.

“LET’S INTRODUCE OUR TEAMS” The announcer yelled into the mic, Phil winced, it was loud. Multicolored lights lit above the rest of the track and everyone cheered again. “IN RED, HERE COME…. THE BARROW INFERNOS!” He pointed to the track as a large pack of skaters rolled into the light, all of them moving with incredible agility and doing little jumps and tricks. After a minute of doing individual tricks (which Phil watched in amazement, how did they do that? On roller skates?!) They all stopped outside the track and the announcer started announcing each of the skaters one by one. All the skaters had crazy names and cool numbers, each skater got their own lap around the track when they were announced.

“NUMBER 221….NUKE SKYWALKER.” A blond boy skated fast around the track, blowing a kiss to the cheering crowd.

“NUMBER 321...GEORGE W. PUSH” A small boy with a bedazzled jersey waved to the crowd as they cheered.

And the introductions went on like that, more crazy names, boys flirting mercilessly with the crowd, cheering.

Then it was time to introduce the next team. “AND NOW, IN BLACK...THE TEAM THAT WON SECOND PLACE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME LAST SEASON… THE INHUMANE LEAGUE!” The announcers purple sequined coat sent sparkles across the walls, Phil grinned and cheered along with the whistling crowd.

The music stopped for a moment, and Phil looked around, confused, the other team hadn’t come out yet.

Suddenly All Star blasted on the speakers and the Inhumane League raced onto the track, all grinning at the crowd, as if they had all shared some hilarious inside joke.

The Inhumane League was good, they were in sync with each other throughout the entire thing. Someone on the team whistled and suddenly they were all skating backwards, another whistle and they were skating forwards again. When they all lined up on the side of the track for the individual introductions, Phil was excited.

Everything was pretty much the same as the first introductions (one name particularly stuck out to him: Frodo Body Baggins) until the last skater was introduced.

“AND FINALLY, THE VIP JAMMER IN THE LAST TWO CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES...NUMBER 666...DANISNOTONFIRE!”

The crowd screamed and Phil watched as a boy, maybe a little younger than him, rolled easily around the track, smirking at no one in particular.

When each team had been situated on their respective benches, one of the referees blew a whistle and a group of skaters from each team lined up in front of a line on the track, while two skaters lined up behind the line.

It was explained to Phil by his friends that “the people in front of the line are the blockers, they’re trying to stop the jammers, the people behind the line, from skating around the track.” Phil was still confused about points and how they were scored and how people won but it didn’t matter, the whistle was blown and immediately everyone was cheering and screaming as the skaters pushed past each other. 

The red “jammer” (the one with the star helmet-cover) made it through and Phil was disappointed. He had been told by his friends that the person who fought through the pack first had the advantage. He had also decided to root for the black team (the Inhumane League, it had been called).

The whistle was soon blown again and Phil was left confused, but happy. He looked up at the scoreboard on the wall.

**THE BARROW INFERNOS: 6 THE INHUMANE LEAGUE: 3**

The next group was on the track for the next round (he had been told it was called a “jam” but that just reminded him of food) and he saw that the boy, Danisnotonfire, was the Inhumane League’s Jammer. 

The crowd was silent until the jam whistle was blown, and then it erupted into chaos.

Danisnotonfire easily jumped through the pack and earned “lead jammer” status. Phil cheered.

Danisnotonfire managed to rack up 15 points for the Inhumane League, leaving the score at:

**THE BARROW INFERNOS: 10 THE INHUMANE LEAGUE: 18**

Phil loved this.

He cheered and screamed and high fived his friends when their team scored (consequently, the team he was rooting for was the team that all his friends were rooting for) and soon it was time for half-time.

Half-time was a 20 minute break, filled with alcohol and pop-punk music. Phil and his friends sang along to New Born by Muse when it came on, and then danced to some Paramore beat on their way to the concession stand to buy drinks.

“Thanks, I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.” Someone on skates, standing right next to the table that Phil was walking up to to buy his drinks, turned around to skate away and ran straight into Phil.

Phil stumbled back a bit to see Danisnotonfire standing above him, a worried expression on his face.

“Oh my god are you okay? I’m sorry I’m such a clutz in human situations.” Phil laughed shook his head.

“I’m fine. You’re Danisnotonfire right? You’re incredible on skates.”

“Yeah, thanks,” He smiled and looked down. “You can call me Dan.”

“Phil.” Phil stuck his hand out for Dan to shake, Dan took it.

“It was nice meeting you Phil, I have to go back now, the team is waiting.”

Phil smiled, “It’s fine, I wouldn’t want to keep you.”

Dan grinned and skated away, looking back only once to wink.

Phil grinned to himself.

“Oh my god Phil was that Danisnotonfire?” Louise squealed as she ran up to him, two orders of french fries in her hands. “Was he _flirting_ with you?” She was grinning from ear to ear.

“He almost ran me over.” Phil giggled. “But I guess maybe he was flirting.”

Louise put her arm around Phil’s shoulders, “Did you get drinks?”

***

The second half passed by in a blur of skates and black and red uniforms.

The it was the last jam of the game, and the score was:

**THE BARROW INFERNOS: 185 THE INHUMANE LEAGUE: 181**

“C’mon we can do this!” Chris shouted as the skaters lined up at the line.

Phil noticed that Dan was jamming, his face was calm and collected, he was radiating confidence.

The whistle was blown, and the crowd erupted in cheers, Phil heard people starting to chant and he joined them.

“INHUMANE! INHUMANE! INHUMANE!”

The crowd was crazy, and Phil focused his attention on Dan. The red pack was slightly askew, several skaters attempting to keep Dan from getting through, and several trying to help their own jammer get through the mob of black skaters blocking his way.

“C’mon Dan.” Phil murmured under his breath.

Dan broke through the pack, jumping into a sprint and racing around the track. 

The crowd cheered, the whistle blew.

“IT LOOKS LIKE THE INHUMANE LEAGUE HAVE RACKED UP ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THEMSELVES!” The announcer said dramatically. “WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEKEND FOR ANOTHER GAME.”

Phil and his friends started to pack up as the music started again, Louise folded the blanket and Chris threw the beer bottles away.

When they were all ready to leave, they merged with the crowd headed out the door.

When they were outside, they stopped for a minute to gather everything and get ready to leave. Phil was slinging his backpack over his shoulder when Louise nudged his elbow.

“Danisnotonfire is heading towards us oh my god.”

Phil glanced back and sure enough, Dan was making his way towards them. Towards Phil.

When Dan had reached the group all he said was: “Sorry, I have to go, but here.” And he handed Phil a small slip of paper.

_+122233535_

His phone number.

Phil had Danisnotonfire’s phone number.

He texted him right then and there.

_Phil (now)_

Hey

It’s Phil

Do you want to get coffee sometime? 


End file.
